What NOT to do at a Wedding

Spencer here.

Okay, so I was going to write this blog last week but then that stupid T-Bo crop circle popped up in England and totally stole my blogging opportunity. Anyway, last week Socko asked me to be his date to his cousin Mary's wedding. At first I said no because I've had a crush on Mary for like 12 years and I didn't want to go and be all depressed while she marries some other dude. But Socko said he'd let me play with his PearPad on the drive up to the wedding, so I accepted his invitation. The PearPad was really cool. The wedding, however, was not. Here's what I learned NOT to do at a wedding, which of course, I learned the hard way.

1. Don't heckle the groom during his cheesy vows -- even if his vows are as stupid as his face.

2. Don't tell the bride that she's making a huge mistake -- even if she is.

3. Don't throw the rice at random people in the church during the ceremony -- even if you're really bored.

4. Don't yell "I object!" -- even if Socko dares you to.

5. Don't just go up to the wedding cake during the reception and cut off a giant piece for yourself -- even if you're really hungry. Apparently, the bride (Mary) and her jerk of a groom are supposed to do that first.

6. Don't give the bride your phone number and tell her if it doesn't work out to call you -- even if you've liked her for longer than her jerky groom has even known her.

7. Don't photo-bomb the bride and groom's wedding picture like this: